Charisma vs. Connection: What Really Makes a Powerful Public Speaker?

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Charisma and public speaking — is one the secret to the other? Many professionals assume that powerful, persuasive communication comes naturally to those who are charismatic. But is charisma really essential to make an impact when you speak?

In this blog, I explore insights from The Charisma Myth and share practical, learnable tools to help you speak with more confidence, connection and presence — even if you're an introvert or not a “natural” presenter.

Why Connection Matters More Than Charisma in Public Speaking

The front page of the FT Weekend (Life & Arts, Saturday 2 / Sunday 3 August) caught my eye with the headline: “The Art of Charisma”: What is it? And who’s got it?

As a communication coach specialising in public speaking and presentation skills, I’ll admit — I rarely use the word charisma.

Why?

Because many of my clients are introverts, deep-thinking experts or highly analytical professionals. They’re engineers, scientists, legal minds, consultants and policymakers. Most are communicating in their second, third, or even fourth language — English.

Some quietly confide that they “lack charisma,” and speak of it as though it’s something reserved for extroverts, performers or people already in the spotlight.

They’re not wrong.

There are entire coaching niches built around charisma, particularly for politicians and high-profile CEOs. But I approach things differently.

Engaging Communication Is Learnable

Rather than striving to be charismatic, I want my clients to learn how to be engaging.
It feels more authentic — and far more achievable.

Engaging communication — the kind that shifts perspectives, inspires teams or drives real change — is learnable. Just like charisma. It’s not some mystical gift granted to a lucky few.

I help professionals engage through:

  • 🎤 Clear, concise and meaningful language

  • 🗭 Solid structure with strong openings and powerful endings

  • 🗣️ Voice that holds attention and adds emotional nuance

  • 💡 Visual storytelling that sticks

  • 🧵 Body language that exudes presence and credibility

What the Charisma Experts Say About Executive Presence

The FT article quotes Olivia Fox Cabane, French-American speaker and author of The Charisma Myth, who suggests that charisma often outweighs intelligence, integrity or competence in public perception.

That’s a sobering thought — especially when so many of us have worked hard on exactly those qualities.

Fox Cabane defines charisma as the ability to express passion for someone or something. That includes:

  • Emotion in your voice

  • Energy in your language

  • (Optional) Humour

  • A distinctive physical presence

Interestingly, political scientists define charisma not as a fixed trait, but as a relationship. It’s not something you “have” — it’s something others feel, based on how you connect with them.

Both perspectives resonate with me.

Authentic Communication vs. Performative Charisma

One vital point worth repeating: Charisma should never be confused with authenticity.

True connection comes from being fully present and intentional with your message — not from mimicking someone else or putting on a performance.

Fox Cabane shares two simple, effective tools anyone can use to appear more charismatic — and I wholeheartedly support both:

🛑 1. Pause before you speak

Try pausing for a full two seconds before beginning.
(I often recommend even longer — especially after an introduction or applause.)

Why?
Because it gives you a moment to settle.
It shows you’re in control.
And it quietly signals confidence and calm — without needing to say a word.

🧘‍♀️ 2. Reduce how often (and how quickly) you nod

Quick, repetitive nodding — especially when done unconsciously — can sometimes diminish your authority.

In my coaching, I’ve noticed this happens more often with women. The goal is stillness above the shoulders — a composed, grounded posture that reinforces credibility.

That said, persuasive communication is complex, and I’ve seen excellent speakers break both of these "rules" and still shine.

Who Gets Called "Charismatic" — And Why It Matters

Let’s be honest — when charisma is mentioned, it’s often linked to louder, more dominant (often male) figures. People described as having a special, magnetic charm.

It’s rarely associated with reflective, quietly powerful communicators.

And charisma doesn’t always equate to competence — just as confidence doesn’t.

That’s why it’s so important to stop confusing the two.

In fact, once my clients begin working on persuasive communication, they often realise that those they once thought were "great speakers" weren’t quite as polished as they seemed.

How to Be an Engaging Speaker Without Faking Charisma

You don’t need to be naturally charismatic to be an effective speaker.
You don’t need to be loud or dramatic.
And you definitely don’t need to perform like someone else.

But you do need to know how to engage your audience — with clarity, presence and intention.

That’s exactly what I teach. I help you:

🏰 Want to improve your executive communication skills?

Download my FREE guide:
10 Presentation Techniques to Transform Your Public Speaking from Nervous to Confident
(+ 5 bonus tips for non-native English speakers)
🔗 Download it here

If you’d like help finding your voice and making a bigger impact when you speak — no charisma required — let’s talk.
📌 Book a free informal consultation