Top 10 Tips for Active Listening

Why is active listening an underrated skill?

Is it because the act of listening seems too passive to be classed as a competence that requires improvement? Or is it that some speakers just feel out of control when not talking, and so dismiss its importance?

Whatever the reason, active listening is one of the keys to good communication. By extension, good communication builds cooperative relationships which are critical to business success at all levels in an organisation, both internally and externally.

So how can leaders and managers improve this simple skill? No matter what your level of English, there are simple techniques you can use, whether you want to show more empathy or connect more warmly, or simply aim to obtain verbal information wholly and efficiently.

Let’s start with the assumption that most people prefer to communicate with those who care about, or at least respect, them as individuals: people who can make a real connection. 

I’d like to share with you ten tips to help you listen more actively, connect, and engage in really good conversations.

1. Don’t Multitask

Be present. Don’t be half in the conversation and half out. Switch off your mobile phone, close down your messaging alerts (if on a video conference), stop looking over your listener’s shoulder for someone else (if out and about). Push to one side other thoughts that rush into your head. They are all distractions, and your listener will notice your lack of engagement. Give your listener your sole focus. If this is your first meeting, remember first impressions count (doubly important if you are not fluent).

2. Use Your Body

Don’t underestimate the power of body language, which can act as over 80% of your message. Good communicators use their body and their facial expressions, as well as their voice. So, it’s crucial to turn your camera on during a video conference if the bandwidth allows. Smile when appropriate, nod (move your head up and down) to show you agree and to encourage the speaker. Watch the gestures of others (hands, shoulders, etc.), so you can adapt your language and movements accordingly. Keep some eye contact if appropriate to the speaker’s culture. These skills are critical for low-level learners of English to show others that they are actively listening, even if they do not understand every word. Don’t remain frozen with concentration, especially during a video conference. Body language is also a great way to signal subtly, without interrupting a speaker, that repetition or explanation might be needed.

3. Make Encouraging Sounds and Words

Use Encouraging Short Phrases. 

These convey interest and encourage the speaker to continue. This is key for lower-level learners of English who do not have the skills or confidence to ask complex questions.

Neutral and encouraging: Hmm ..mm. Huh huh.

Show surprise: Wow! Really? Oh no!

Show agreement: Yes. Yep. Yeah. I see.

Use longer phrases

That’s really interesting/How amazing! 

Really? Tell me more/I’m sorry.

I know exactly what you mean.

Wow! You’re ahead of schedule.

That’s good/great.

Use questions tags

Did you?/Was it?

Do you?/Does she?

Have you?/Will you? 

Ask for more detail

Could you give me more detail?

What happened next?

Tell me more.

Repeat their main point 

For example:

Speaker:          Actually, last summer I was in the south of France. 

Listener:          South of France?

Speaker:          Yes, it was wonderful. It was so relaxing. Great time with the family.

 4. Use their name

When speaking in English, it is common practice to use first names, although check how your speaker likes to be addressed according to their culture and profession. Use their name. Don’t overdo it, but it shows that you have taken time to memorise it and value them as an individual. Don’t underestimate this minor point. Try:

That's really interesting, Anne.

Wow, Katja!

That's great, Laurent.

Did you, Jan?

 5. Get curious

Consciously use open questions (Wh- and How questions): 

Who are the leading competitors, and what’s their market share?

What issues are you currently facing?

So, what happened next?

Where are your manufacturing plants based?

Consciously switch to powerful questions:

Why do you think you've gained market share?

So, how are you dealing with the issues?

Which parts of the project have been the most fulfilling?

What could you have done differently? 

 If you wish to learn more about question techniques, request a copy of ‘Asking Questions’ to drive change and build rapport. 

 6. Be positive and open

Avoid negativity and giving advice especially during your first encounter. Try:

I’m not so sure about that.

Yes, that’s a good point.

If you don’t know something, be honest and say you don’t know. Try:

Sorry, I’m not sure I know the answer to that one.

Good question. I’ll have to get back to you later with the information.

Stay positive and open, as positivity and the truth help build credibility and trust and will foster long-term relationships.

 7. Don’t Equate Experiences

Don’t equate your experience with theirs as no two experiences are ever the same. They are all individual. For example, if you are listening to someone whose work initiative has failed or has recently lost a family member, you don’t need to add that the same has happened to you. Instead you could try:

 I’m sorry to hear that.

That sounds really tough.

 Oh, I feel for you.

 Active listening is not about you or how interesting/challenging you are/your life is: it’s about the person with whom you are communicating. 

 8. Ask for Clarification

If you don’t understand something your speaker says or if you’re not clear about an important point, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification even if you feel your English is weaker than theirs. Try:

I’m not sure if I understood what you mean.

Could you explain what you mean by that?

Let me check that I understood you correctly…

If you wish to learn more about clarification, request a copy of ‘Asking for clarification and repetition’ to help avoid misunderstandings.

 9.  Be Patient

This is especially important if the person with whom you are conversing has a lower level of English than yours. Avoid making judgments and interrupting. Allow them more thinking time, as well as time to finish what they would like to say. If you give them lots of talking time and freedom to express their ideas and feelings without passing on your own beliefs, this will help cement a good working relationship.

 10. Turn Each Conversation into a Learning Opportunity

Everyone is an expert in something, whatever their age or level in an organisation, so put aside your opinion and learn another’s, especially when meeting someone for the first time. Assume you are going to learn something new. So, be prepared to be amazed.

Use the above tips to give yourself the time and space to focus on what is being said and how it is being communicated, so deepening and enriching your professional interactions.

As Buddha said, ‘If your mouth is open, you’re not learning.’ 

It’s so true.

If you are looking to discuss your company’s Business English communication needs or Presentation communication needs, I offer ffree 30-minute consultations through the contact page of my site. I’d love to meet you.